8 tips for settling into a new life abroad

They say moving home is one of the most stressful life experiences we go through as adults, so it’s hardly surprising that relocating overseas – away from everything you once knew and understood – can be an emotional rollercoaster, particularly with family in tow. The first few months can be tough, but there are lots of ways to help keep on top of things. Here are some top tips for boosting your well-being, integrating into your new community, combating homesickness, and getting the most out of your family’s expat experience!

1. Let your new home be “home”
It’s difficult to avoid comparing your new home to the one you’ve left behind, but doing so is unlikely to help you all settle in. Try to make a completely fresh start and take a positive approach to your new life. Stopping yourself from saying phrases like “back home” can make a huge difference. After all, this is your home now, and it has its own beauty, way of life and community just waiting to be discovered and enjoyed.

2. Have a safety net
Planning for certain eventualities can help you to regain a sense of control when a lot of things are simultaneously up in the air. Life feels a lot less daunting when you know your back is covered. For instance, if you’re moving to a country that regularly suffers from natural disasters it can be ideal to keep your cupboards stocked up with some essentials like tinned food, first aid and medical supplies.

It can also be useful to come up with a “Plan B” for any scenarios that are worrying you. For example, putting a reliable international health insurance plan in place from the get-go can take a big weight off your mind. This way, you’ll know you and your family will all be cared for if you fall ill, need advice or have a medical emergency.

3. Learn the local language
Being able to interact with those around you will immediately make you feel more comfortable in your new surroundings. A few essential words and phrases will be enough to get you started, but joining a regular class will expand both your language skills and your confidence – and it will enable you to keep up with your children, who’ll be connected with language education in school.

Even if the locals where you’re heading speak the same language as you, there will no doubt be a particular dialect to become acquainted with. Families can turn learning new languages and colloquialisms into a bonding exercise, which is a great way to make the process less daunting for your children and yourself.

4. Help your children settle in before and during school

When you plan your move, it’s likely you’ll do what most expats do and time it so that you’ve got a little time to settle in and explore before you start work. Try and make sure that your child or children can enjoy the same settling in period, by moving during school holiday time when they’ll have a chance to enjoy their new home before term starts. 

Many international schools offer open days and pre-start visits, and if you can take advantage of these it’s incredibly worthwhile. Giving children the chance to familiarise themselves with a new school’s layout and members of staff will make them feel more at ease, whether they’re pre-school, primary school or high school age. Make sure you have any books, stationery and uniform that they’ll need, as what we take for granted in some areas may be things you need to supply yourself in others.

It’s also worth giving your child’s teachers some background information that will help them to make your child feel more comfortable – likes and dislikes, hobbies and interests, as well as any areas of the curriculum where they may need extra support.

5. Get out and meet people
Join groups, attend events and say “yes” to every invitation you feel comfortable with – from locals in particular, but also from other expats. Not everyone will become a close friend, but each experience will introduce you to another aspect of life in your new home country and mingling with other expats can also build a friendship network of likeminded people. 

Children need to feel that they have a social web around them too, so try to encourage their socialisation with new schoolfriends, taking the opportunity to meet other parents whether local or from the expat community and to invite other children over for playtime, dinners and movie nights with your own kids.

6. Forge a bond
If you’re having trouble settling in, it may be because you haven’t formed a connection with the places and people around you. Try delving into the past as well as immersing yourself in the modern-day culture of the area, to find out more about its origins, history, quirks, folklore and traditions. It’ll help you to understand your new neighbours and friends much better, and you’ll develop a deeper appreciation for the area when you can see how far it has come and how much it has to offer.

The internet is a good place to start regarding this kind of research, but you could also visit the local library, museum, historic sites and festivals.

7. Stay in touch
Make regular arrangements to speak with friends and family overseas, and put those arrangements on the calendar. Snapchat, WhatsApp, Facebook, Pinterest and Instagram are also great communication tools – but never underestimate the value of a hand-written letter! If any of your acquaintances are able to send one, an occasional ‘care package’ is sure to raise spirits – like a package of your children’s favourite sweets, or other small comforts you can’t get in your new location.

8. Establish routines

Children can find it hard to get settled when they don’t have the same routines that they’re used to. Things like keeping mealtimes and bed times the same will help, along with sticking to any usual homework times or family habits like bedtime stories or weekend movie nights.

Taking the time to ask how your child’s day has been is always important, but new educational environments are a big change for any child and it’s crucial to make sure you find time each day to check in on any challenges they may be facing or new experiences to discuss. By asking open questions when they get home or over dinner, you can identify issues like bullying or isolation that might arise and help to overcome them. Remember that your child’s new teachers have a duty of care too, so don’t hesitate to count them in your new support network when needed.